checking this year resolution

work hard --- i do believe i did that
party hard --- hhmmm.... yeah probably
study hard --- DEFINITELY
got a girl friend --- BLANK.... its officially 12 Dec 2008, got 19 more days to accomplish what i can't accomplish in 346 days

stuck.desperate.oh iya lupa DITINGGAL KAWIN...HAHAHAHAHAHA

Sempat memiliki

Mengapa kita bertemu
bila akhirnya dipisahkan
mengapa kita berjumpa
tapi akhirnya dijauhkan
kau bilang hatimu aku
nyatanya bukan untuk aku

bintang dilangit nan indah
dimanakah cinta yang dulu
masihkah aku disana
di relung hati dan mimpimu
andaikan engkau disini
andai kau tetap denganku

aku hancur ku terluka
namun engkaulah nafasku
kau cintaku meski aku
bukan dibenakmu lagi
dan kuberuntung sempat memilikimu

bintang dilangit nan indah
dimanakah cinta yang dulu
masihkah aku disana
di relung hati dan mimpimu
andaikan engkau disini
andai kau tetap denganku

aku hancur ku terluka
namun engkaulah nafasku
kau cintaku meski aku
bukan dibenakmu lagi
dan kuberuntung sempat memilikimu

engkau mengatakan merindukan diriku lagi
ingin kusampaikan ku tak hanya sekedar rindu

aku hancur ku terluka
namun engkaulah nafasku
kau cintaku meski aku
bukan dibenakmu lagi
dan kuberuntung sempat memilikimu

A Wish...

i just wish for a wisdom to look for my happy ending...

Nothing

Once we were a couple
Once we said the nicest things
Now...
We never existed...
We are... NOTHING...
.....
by the way Congratulations...

under my skin

i don't know how you do it but you still have the ability to get under my skin.
you still get on my nerves...
is it just me but i believe that you actually want to erase my completely out of of your life...
why???
questions after questions that will never be answered...
you know what???
I'm just trying to be your friend, but if you don't want to....
hell,...i got lots of friend...
but still you get under my skin....

stuck in the moment

I watch closer again…
This time the whole movie
And this time by my self
I had to do it
Everything about this movie remind me of her
The story
The soundtrack
I had to watch it again
Yesterday I remember her
I hate her for the excruciating pain she caused
But I believe I hurt her too
Why did two people, in love with each other, did things to hurt each other…
Where is this love that they said so many times
Where is this love that they proclaimed so vigorously
Where?
Where?
Why did it have to end the way it did?
So many questions, but no answers….

Butterflies

I'm looking for someone to give me butterflies...
You love everything about butterflies...
So i guess it's a sign...
Would you be my butterfly...?

for you...

May our friendship last forever;
May I sail upon your sea.
May we go through life together;
May there always be a "we."

May I be your endless sky;
May you breathe my gentle air.
May you never wonder why
Each time you look for me, I'm there.

May we be for each a smile
Like the warm, life-giving sun;
Yet when we're in pain awhile,
May our suffering be one.

May we share our special days,
The happiness of one for two;
And if we must go separate ways,
Let my love remain with you.

******************************************

for someone out there...i hope u realize...

Hei You...

Hei You...
Every time after i see u, i'm craving for more...
I think i like you, but i hate you when you're nowhere to be found...
I like to believe that we enjoyed each other company, but alas i'm invisible to you.
Anyhoo, if you ever read this, i just like to say that the offer is real and it's still on the table...

Something to believe in

I lost all faith in my God, in his religion too
I told the angels they could sing their songs to someone new
I lost all trust in my friends
I watched my heart turn to stone
I thought that I was left to walk this wicked world alone

Tonight I'll dust myself off
Tonight I'll suck my gut in
I'll face the night and I'll pretend
I got something to believe in

And I had lost touch with reason
I watched life criticize the truth
Been waiting for a miracle
I know you have too

Though I know I won't win
I'll take this one on the chin
We'll raise a toast and I'll pretend
I got something to believe in

If I don't believe in Jesus, how can I believe the Pope
If I don't believe in heroin, how can I believe in dope
If there's nothing but survival, how can I believe in sin
In a world that gives you nothing
We need something to believe in

If I don't believe in Jesus, how can I believe the Pope
If I don't believe in heroin, how can I believe in dope
If there's nothing but survival, how can I believe in sin
In a world that gives you nothing
We need something to believe in
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Every night when i come home...
always wondering about this...
I REALLY REALLY NEED SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN !!!

Depressed

Last night i decided to read my own blog...
and to my surprise i got DEPRESSED...
HA HA HA HA ...
my blog nave a tendencies to make readers even the writer Depressed...

Hugs...

Gosh...
I do miss giving hugs n receiving it...
A real hug, with emotions, with love...
A real hug can replace thousand words...

Move on

yesterday, after talking to someone who used to be special, i realized that i never quite move on. Everybody moved on, i'm still stuck in this rut....

(bingung mau kasih judul apa)...

Kl setahun yg lalu loe tanya pa loe bisa idup tanpa dia, pasti jawaban gue spontan dan tegas TIDAK. tapi setelah semua nya berlalu skrg loe tanya ternyata gue bisa koq get over her. Maksudnya craving untuk telp dia tiap hari atau mau tahu kabar dia gimana, semuanya itu bisa gue tahan. Mungkin jalan hidup itu gak blh terlalu lempeng kali ya, biar loe tahu juga artinya BENER HIDUP itu kayak gimana sih.
He he he gak jelas banget ya tulisannya. Yah kl yg baca ngerti, baguslah kl enggak ya udah.

vulnerable...

i again leave my self open...
trying hard to take it as they come, not rushing into things...
being vulnerable is hard...
hopefully am better equip n better prepared now...

Just Once - James Ingram

If u don't wanna talk about the other night, let us just remember the songs that played that night. One song i remember is this one :

I did my best
But i guess my best wasn't good enough
'Cause here we are back where we were before
Seems nothing ever changes
We're back to being strangers
Wond'ring if we ought to stay or head on out the door

Chorus:
Just once
Can we figure out
What we keep doin' wrong?
Why we never last for very long
What are we doing wrong?

Just once
Can't we find a way to fin'lly make it right?
To make the magic last for more than just one night
If we could just get to it
I know we could break thru it

I gave my all
But I think my all may have been too much
'Cause Lord knows
We're not getting anywhere
Seems we're always blowin'
Whatever we've got going
And it seems at times with all we've got
We haven't got a prayer

Chorus:
Just Once
Can't we figure out what we keep doin' wrong?
Why the good times never last for long?
Where are we going wrong?

Just once
Can't we find a way to fin'lly make it right?
To make the magic last more than just one night
I know we could break thru' it
If we could just get to it
Just Once
Ooh.. We can get to it..
Just Once...
-------------------------------------------
I guess i asked the same question my self can't we find a way to finally make it right, to make the magic last more than just one night....

Last Night...

We kissed...and kissed...and kissed...
why do have to say your sorry...
the kiss was GREAT & WONDERFUL...
been a long time since i kissed some one i truly like...
hopefully...the kiss...mean much more...

to a very dear friend...

Akhir tahun 2007 ada berita gak enak yg harus gue terima. Salah satu temen baek gue kitika SMP, meninggal dunia. Namanya ANDRIO SIMON. Gue bener2 kaget dan baru percaya berita nya ketika salah satu temen mampir ke rumah duka dan melihat mayatnya. Gue kaget karena kabarnya s\tiba2 banget. Udah lama banget gue gak denger kabar dari temen gue itu. TErakhir di kerumah gue malam2 dan kita cuma ngobrol sebentar di depan rumah gue, ketawa2, remembering jaman2 jahilia waktu kita SMP. Kabar terakhir yg gue tahu adalah dia udah jadi penyanyi di gereja2, dan gue berpikir baguslah paling gak salah satu dari kita ada yg bener jalannya. Ech tiba2 aja denger kabar dia udah meninggal. dan ketika melihat mayatnya dengan mata dan kepala gue, baru gue sadar kl hidup kita di dunia itu bener2 gak tahu sampai kapan. Loe bisa planning hidup loe ampe 10-25 tahun ke depan, tapi loe juga gak ngerti kapan loe mati. so 1 lessons i learn that live your life to the fullest. B everything that u could possibly be. coz when your time is up, thats it. Loe gak akan bisa nego ama TUHAN kapan loe mati, kl Yang DIATAS bilang waktu loe abis ya udah abis aja.
Andrio was wuch a dear friend. KIta suka maen basket bareng, jalan2 bareng. Dia juga salah satu dari PKAD(Pieter Kevin Andrio Dimas). Genk aneh bentukan kita berempat. Dari 4 orang ini, satu udah meninggal dan satu lagi gak ketahuan dimana rimbanya. Anyhoo....
Just wanna said that, U will be missed bro, I hope you find peace now.