Year In Review 2005

Where should we begin dengan 2005???

Diterima di Audit...
Pisah dari Ajenk (this time its for real)...
"Ketemu" SINTA...(highlight 2005)...
Being in a relationship with her, meskipun kita "beda"...

Audit keliling Indonesia...
Solo,Pdk.Indah,Malang,Fatmawati,Cempaka Mas,Makasar,Banjarmasin,Surabaya...
belum lagi surveynya ke daerah pedalaman...
SERU....

So kesimpulannya tahun 2005 ini isinya : AUDIT en SINTA

oh iya anak2 [dhadrockaz]...maaf ya kalo udah lama gak main bareng kalian...

EVERY HAVE A HADROCKIN NEW YEAR 2006 !!!
LOVE YOU ALL !!!

I'm REALLY ANGRY...

HUAAAAAHHHH !!!!!
KESEL BANGET RASANYA !!!

maunya apa sih ???
empet banget gue !!!

Resolusi 2006...

Walopun belum bikin Year In Review 2005, udah mo tulis resolusi 2006 ach...
Gak muluk2 sih cuma mau satu aja dech :
"Merubah It's Complicated jadi In A Relationship"

He3x...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006 !!!

ENGLAND WORLD CHAMPION !!!

Goodbye My Lover - Lyrics

Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt. Gak nahan lagu en liriknya.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you. 

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

gak bisa tidur...

mmhh...lagi gak bisa tidur nech...jadi kepikiran banyak hal yang gak penting...
for instance...mikirin orang-orang yang udah gak ada lagi dalam hidup loe...
gak dalam artian meninggal, tapi yang biasa ketemu tiap hari, terus sekarang udah jarang berhubungan lagi...
u just wonder what r they doing right now...
kayak temen2 SD loe yang dulu, mereka udah kayak apa ya sekarang...
ato sahabat2 lama loe...yang biasa tiap hari bercanda, ketawa-ketiwi, etc...mereka lagi ngapain ya sekarang(my best guess : lagi pada tidur,secara jam 2 pagi juga ya)...

kayak kata Sanosuke di Samurai X, kalo kamu ketemu seseorang kamu harus siap melihatnya meninggalkan kehidupan mu...

mmmhhh ... jadi kepikiran aja...

I Love You Babesky....Always have...Always will

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
I wish I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie

I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needed
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime

Leaving someone when you love them
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

I don't wanna leave you
Babesky it tears me up inside
Babesky, it's never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye

Gue capek banget....

just when u thought u have hit rock bottom...it happens again...
what r the chances lightning strikes the same place twice...
what did i ever do to deserve this thing, not once but twice...

why can i just find someone yang ngerti-in gue en love me for who i am...
doesn't it shows that i'm a love fool...
why i keep finding it in the wrong places...

GOD just please i beg U...
Just send someone to love me...
I really need to rest in arms...
To keep my safe from all the harms en the pains...
AMEN...

The end of a dream...

Girl I know we had some good times
It's sad but now we gotta say goodbye
Girl you know I love you, I can't deny
I know it hurts so much but it's best for us
So I'll walk away so you don't have to see me cry
It's killing me inside

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

Hate You...

U know that our time together is limited...
U know that at last we have to go our separate ways...
I just don't get it why do you have to ruined it...
All I asked is why can't u just wait until we sort everything out...
Don't u know it hurt so damn much...
I hate you for it...

Cool Advice...

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
than my own meandering
experience…
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and
recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you
imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with
people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes
you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your
life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they
wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe
you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t
congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your
choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body,
use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people
think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever
own..
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for
good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize
that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than
it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…

My Love Profile...

Libra - Your Love Profile Your positive traits: You are open minded enough to date outside your typical "type" ... successfully! You are diplomatic - and likely to end a fight instead of dragging things out. You are easily loyal and faithful, but only for the right person. Your negative traits: You're a bit gullible, and partners take advantage of you. You still may not know it. You find it difficult to decide where to go to dinner, what movie to watch, who to date... You have to be in a relationship, or else you just don't feel like yourself. Your ideal partner: A smooth talker who enjoys socializing as much as you to. Someone classy and cultured who knows which wine to order with dinner. Is beautiful to you - although not necessarily attractive in the traditional sense. Your dating style: Romantic. If your date comes bearing flowers, wine, and poetry... well, your heart soars. Your seduction style: Giving. Your lover's pleasure is as important as your own. Soft and sensual - you don't like anything to be rough. Extravagant ... your fantasy involves staying at a five star hotel with your love. Tips for the future: Don't be so quick to compromise in relationships - and you'll get taken advantage of yes. Try being single for a while. Seems impossible, but you'll learn so much about yourself from doing so. Make some decisions about your romantic life, right now. You'll be happy that you did. Best place to meet someone online: Platinum Romance - the best place to meet other singles who love romance as much as you do Best color to attract mate: Green Best day for a date: Wednesday Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

Catcher In The Rye

Ini salah satu dari isi buku Catcher In The Rye.Buku ini dibaca oleh penembaknya John Lennon.Gue sendiri belum baca buku ini,bisa dicari dimana ya.Katanya sih isinya tentang seseorang yang mengalami mental break down...
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Thoughts, but no poem

I woke up singing this morning.
I mean, I was happy and all.
But last night, what I really felt like
was jumping out the window.
All I could see were these phonies -
I never left the house though.
They were on TV, in books and stuff,
acting out madman stuff in the goddam movies.
I swear sometimes I think I'm crazy,
surrounded by these goddam princes
making out like life's perfect and all.
That kills me.
Then someone wakes them up,
and they all get sore as hell about it.
But I lie singing in bed -
there goes my crazy sense of humour again...

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sorry...

Gue harus minta maaf ama temen-temen yang baca blog gue.Soalnya banyak yang bilang Lex koq isi blog loe cuma desperation melulu sih.Gak pernah happy yach??Gue udah berusaha happy koq.Bahkan sebenarnya gue udah dapatkan My Happiness.Tapi mungkin ada beberapa hal yang gak meant to be aja.
Gue udah berusaha lebih happy dari tahun lalu koq, tapi tetap aja tahun ini isinya miris-miris juga.Bahkan tahun ini lebih gila lagi kali sakit hati yang gue rasa.Yah gimana gak gila??Gue udah nemuin orang yang cocok banget tapi kita gak bisa bareng.
Bahkan gue udah anggap diri gue ini pecinta S&M khusus untuk sakit hati.Jadi kalo gue gak get my heart broken, malah gue yang bingung sendiri...HE3X..Aneh banget ya??
Anyhoo...Ada moment2 yang bikin gue seneng banget sih tahun ini.Dan kalo gue review semua moment itu,pasti langsung atau gak langsung pasti berkaitan dengan satu orang.MY BABESKY.
Karena dia,gue dapetin lagi kepercayaan diri gue yang hilang.Gue bisa belajar untuk sayang orang lagi...THanks Dear...
Kita lihat aja dech sampe akhir tahun ini,di YEAR IN REVIEW gue...
Hopefully jangan BT2 lagi ya isinya...Gue Udah capek BT2...

Wedding Vows...

I'll take care of you
Don't be sad, don't be blue
I'll never break your heart in two
I'll take care of you
I'll kiss your tears away
I'll end your lonely days
All that I'm really tryin' to say
Is I'll take care of you

I want you to know that I love you so
I'm proud to tell the world you're mine
I said it before, I'll say it once more
You'll be in my heart 'til the end of time

I'll take care of you
Don't be sad, don't be blue
Just count on me your whole life through
'Cause I'll take care of you
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Ini lagu dari Steven Curtis Chapman. Pertama kali denger di GMHR. Waktu itu Hostnya masih Hilbram + Mellisa + Yoshi. Sejak pertama kali denger gue langsung suka banget lagu ini. Mungkin Wedding Vows gue mirip2 kayak lagu ini kali ya...
Kapan ya???

Results...

Hopefully by posting the results, everyone can see every aspects of me...
And probably can see the REAL me, cause sometime I can't see it my self...

What Kind of Friend Am I ??

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen Or lend a shoulder to cry on You're there through thick and thin Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

I'm a Frappacino

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

What Kind of Coffee Are You?

My Love Style...

Your Love Style is Eros

For you, love is all about the passion! And chances are, you're currently in love. You have a strong physical response to love... And you are great at committing (As long as the person makes your toes curl!)

What's Your Love Style?

Testimonial...

This is my Babesky Testimonial for me :

" BabeskyQu...
Hmh... Pertama kali liat siy aga syerem,
ga kenal tapi minta telp lewat e-mail...
hi..hi..
Tapi ternyata beda bgt sama apa yang
Nta bayangin, Lexie itu cowo' yang
paling baik yang Nta kenal...
perhatian
dan pengertian bangedh, sweet
bangedh, silly n funny, n the most
important thing is he always there for me
when i needed him..
he picks me up when i'm down
n he loves me unconditionally meskipun Nta lg crancky
yang ga jelas pun dia sabar2 aja
tuch... .. :)
Duh nabrak gunung niy 'coz
he's everything that a girl could hope for..
hmh but sumthing r not meant 2 be kalie
yah,,, hiks..hiks
But no matter what
he'll always b apart me that I won't ever
forget..
L & F yach ...1..2..3... "

Thank You Nta...
Love You Always...

My Seduction Style...

Your Seduction Style: Ideal Lover

You seduce people by tapping into their dreams and desires. And because of this sensitivity, you can be the ideal lover for anyone you seek. You are a shapeshifter - bringing romance, adventure, spirituality to relationships. It all depends on who your with, and what their vision of a perfect relationship is.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

He won't be like ME !!!

If he loved you
Like I love you
I would walk away in shame
I'd move town
I'd change my name

When he watches you
When he counts to buy your soul
On your hand his golden rings
Like he owns a bird that sings

I'm still in love with you
I'm gonna find a place to live
Give you all I've got to give

If I could break down these walls
And shout my name at heaven's gate
I'd take these hands
And I'd destroy the dark machineries of fate
Cathedrals are broken
Heaven's no longer above
And hellfire's a promise away
I'd still be saying
I'm still in love

He won't love you
Like I love you
He won't care for you this way
He'll mistreat you if you stay

Come and live with me
We'll have children of our own
I would love you more than life
If you'll come and be my wife

I'm gonna love you more than life
If you will only be my wife
I'm gonna love you night and day
I'm gonna try in every way

I had a dream last night
I dreamt you were by my side
Walking with me baby
My heart was filled with pride
I had a dream last night
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I wish we live in some other time and place
So our only difference won't mean anything
So we could be together forever
My Babesky I'm so much in love with you...

She's out of my life...Really??

She's out of my life
And I don't know whether to laugh or cry
I don't know whether to live or die
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life

It's out of my hands
Now the way that it stands
She's out of my hands

I kept my love for her locked deep inside
And it cuts like a knife
She's out of my life
***********************************************
I guess when you hit rock bottom there no other way than Up.
Hopefully i can make it.

Hmmm...

I finally found someone, that knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one, that makes me feel complete
We started over coffee, we started out as friends
It's funny how from simple things, the best things begin

Gak nyangka koq bisa pas kayak gini ya...

Kissing A Fool...

One of my all time favourite song by Goerge Michael...
Sometimes i caught my self wondering, am I a fool ??
-----------------------------------------------------------------
You Are Far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and ties
So goodbye
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart
Maybe i'll be strong enough
I don't know where to start
But i'll never find
Peace of mind
While i listen to my heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart

And people
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you
Like i always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other

You are far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that i was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
-----------------------------------------------------------------

Lover & Friend...

Starbucks…
Upstairs…
MPX…
Taman Safari…
Gumati…
NC…
Gelato…
Blok S…

Places we went
Laughter we shared
Tears we cried
Our first touch
Our first kiss
The moment we said “sayang” to each other

I wish we cold freeze all of those times we were together
Babesky you are my little piece of heaven, my retreat from all of the pains, tiredness, boredom, BT’s
Your humor always wipe away all of my tears
You are always there for me, every time I’m feeling down
Being next to you can always make me feel alive
We can always be truthful to each other
You are my lover and my friend

You taught me how to love again
You gave me feelings I already forgot
You make me feel complete again

Why does something that feel so right can be so wrong??
Why can’t people just leave us alone??
Why can’t people see that we are great together??
All I want is just to be with you
Giving you my love and accepting yours in return

Babesky…I Love You…

LOVE FOREVER
FOREVER LOVE

Babesky...

Babesky...
I did not dare to ask forever from you...
Instead I only ask for today...
And tomorrow I will ask the same thing...

Butterflies...

If a poem can describe the definition of butterflies in your stomach, this is it...

"It's amazing how I feel when I'm around you,
How my heart pounds when you come into a room.
I look at you and think: My God! How lovely!
And everything I am bursts into bloom.

I feel as though you must, you must be mine,
Not as a possession but a goal,
Something almost unimaginable:
The free devotion of another soul.

As though I were about to enter heaven
Or just within the hour condemned to die,
My mind with one fierce thought keeps running over,
With you, and only you, the reason why."

Recently I had this feeling. It's a great feeling to have.
This poem is for someone who made me feel this way...
Babesky Aku Sayang Kamu...

The Hardest Day...

Sometimes your lucky enough to be with the one you love This is for the one whose not that lucky...

One more day, one last look
Before I leave it all behind
And play the role that's meant for us
That said we'd say goodbye

One more night by your side
Where our dreams collide
And all we have is everything
And there's no pain there's no hurt
There's no wrong it's all right

If I promise to believe will you believe
That there's nowhere that we'd rather be
Nowhere describes where we are
I’ve no choice, I love you
Leave, love you wave goodbye

And all I ever wanted was to stay
And nothing in this world’s gonna change

Never wanna wake up from this night
Never wanna leave this moment
Waiting for you only,
Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
Leaving you, the hardest day of my life

I still breathe, I still eat
And the sun it shines the same as it did yesterday
But there's no warmth, no light
I feel empty inside

But I never will regret a single day
I know it isn't going to go away
What I'm feeling for you
I will always love you

Never gonna forget every single thing you do
When loving you is my finest hour
I never knew I'd ever feel this way
I feel for you...

Aku + Kamu = ???

Kita sering ngobrol pakai Aku dan Kamu. Aku dan Kamu sering jalan bareng. Aku dan Kamu nyambung banget. Aku dan Kamu make each other laugh. Aku dan Kamu saling menceritakan keluh kesah masing-masing. Aku dan Kamu care for each other.

Somehow Aku + Kamu tidak bisa jadi KITA...

It's Over...

She's out of my life. The waiting game has finally over. Another chapter has been closed. The sad thing about it is how it ends. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. I don't know whether to live or die. It cuts like a knife, it is like losing her all over again.

It's out of my hand. Probably this time both parties will learn something from it. I keep saying to my self that what does not kill you will only make you stronger. Maybe this time its for the best. Maybe it's true that if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you than you know that you are meant to be together.

It's over and there is no use in crying over it. Now is the time to move on.

Really???

The Real Me

Beberapa hari yang lalu salah seorang sahabat baik gue told me something yang cukup bikin gue terkejut. Dia bilang "Lex,elo yang sebenarnya yang mana ya?". Waktu itu kita lagi ngobrolin masalah temen-temen baru dan kenalan-kenalan baru gue. Menurut dia based on berbagai macam jenis temen-temen gue, gue itu mempunyai bermacam-macam kepribadian.
Sahabat baik gue itu termasuk kumpulan "teman sejak kuliah". Mestinya sih dia itu kenal gue udah 6 tahun lebih, dan kalo ada masalah apa pasti gue suka cerita ama dia. That's why pertanyaan dia itu mengejutkan gue karena sih mestinya dia itu udah kenal gue "luar-dalam". kata dia Lexie itu ada 2 macam, yaitu Lexie "Gila" dan Lexie "Gila Banget". Nah bingung kan. kata temen baik gue itu kalo bareng kumpulan mereka( baca: temen kuliah) gue itu cuma "gila", tapi kalo gue ama komunitas baru gue, gue itu "gila banget". Gue tambahin aja ama dia, gue bilang ada juga Lexie "Rumahan", ada juga Lexie "Kantor" dan seterusnya.
Gue cuma wondering aja apa bener gue punya different personalities tergantung dimana gue berada, dalam artian tempat maupun kumpulan orang sekitar gue. dan ternyata emang iya. Gue consider diri gue sendiri sebagai orang yang adaptive, gampang bergaul, fleksibel atau boleh gue bilang gue itu bunglon. The next question is apakah itu salah??Apakah gue bisa dibilang munafik??bermuka dua??etc...
Gue rasa enggak. Semua hal diatas itu adalah gue. Ya gue yang gila dan super gila, atau gue yang serius, semuanya adalah tetap Pieter Alexander de Haan. Gue gak akan pernah kehilangan jati diri gue, karena gue tahu bahwa untuk hal-hal yang prinsipil gue gak akan mengubahnya untuk siapapun juga. Gue cuma mengadaptasi saja dimana keberadaan gue saat itu. Tingkah laku dan sikap yang gue keluarkan gue sikroniksasikan dengan surroundings gue.
Hal ini juga berlaku kepada semua orang. Gue rasa kita semua punya sisi-sisi lain yang mungkin kalau orang yang lain yang melihat seakan-akan kita punya different personalities. Yang mau gue bilang adalah: Just be your self...